Author: Flower Roberts

seizuremamaandrose.org

Useful is Beautiful

It all started with a bad dream. This one lingered in my mind for two days.

The gist of it was that I needed to spend more time being pretty and less time being useful.

I wondered why my subconscious mind would send me such a mean message.

I guess it is because I rarely look in the mirror. I no longer wear make-up. My hair has not been cut in months. I wear no jewelry because it is just one more thing to decontaminate. Pretty is not on my radar right now. I have work to do.

Between my hours of yard clean-up yesterday, I took a much needed break in the ‘Sad Chair’ beside by our fire pit. I looked up to see my husband cleaning out the gutter at the highest point of the roof. Heights make him uncomfortable. Yet, there he was on the high corner reaching carefully over with his tool to remove debris.

That’s when the epiphany happened. I sad it out loud, “Useful is beautiful.” Just like that, the bad dream burst like a bubble. Poof! Gone!

This morning he needed his arm wrapped before going to his parents to cut wood. I found the bandage and scissors. We had to try several times to get it right. When the job was done, he kissed my check, said “Thank you Deary” and rushed out the door.

He left the roll and scissors in the middle of my one-and-only holiday display. I will leave them there for a while. To remind me that “USEFUL IS BEAUTIFUL.”

So ‘Another Mother’, when you are feeling tired and not so pretty, I want you to remember what I told you here and think about how useful and beautiful you are.

Mama

My Survival Skills

If you have been following this blog and/or have read our book,

you know we have survived quite a bit of hardship.

With those experiences came hard lessons and wisdom.

I expect we all are on the verge of a serious learning curve.

So before the storm starts to rage out of control,

I thought it might be a good time to share some of my survival skills.

NUMBER 1: Let go of the plan. That picture you have in your head will not be happening. Clean the slate and start sketching a new picture based on the present facts. A new blueprint is needed.

NUMBER 2: You are not in control. You may be holding onto the rudder, but something else is blowing your sails. Stay flexible. React appropriately. Stay in the moment. Stay alert.

NUMBER 3: Take the word “should” out of your mind and your mouth. (Example: Those idiots should be wearing masks.) I have trouble with this one. As a former teacher, I have a habit of being the behavior police. I could wear myself out trying to fix this world in my mind. That would be a waste of my thoughts and energy.

NUMBER 4: Pause often. Stop rushing and pause to reassess the situation. Hurrying in the wrong direction means more back-tracking. I said pause NOT park. Keep doing what you think is best. Just keep thinking while you are doing it.

NUMBER 5: Hope is the most important thing in times of trouble. Never let go of it. Through all the hits and shocks, it is important to keep the faith in better times. Hope is your soul’s life-vest. It’s time to strap it on and keep it on.

I will stop there. That is one skill per finger.

  1. New plan
  2. Not in control.
  3. No “shoulds”
  4. Pause often
  5. Hold on to hope.

Everybody’s Mama

Mama Bear Standing Down

Some things have happened in Rose’s life recently that have tempted me to step in,

but that is NOT my place anymore.

Rose is an adult now.

It is time for her to handle her own issues without her protective mama.

Any time I think about getting involved I ask myself,

“What would Rose do if I did this?”

The answer…

She would be furious with me for stepping in.

So Mama Bear is stepping down.

Rose can handle it.

Flow

Fear by Phone

I have enough fear.

Thanks for calling.

I will not be scared into voting for you or not voting at all.

I will not answer your calls.

I do not listen to your vicious, fictious warnings.

I know who you are.

I know you will stop at nothing to win.

Fear may work on others.

I have had enough fear to last a lifetime.

You won’t get my vote,

but I do have some hate with your name on it.

Don’t call me anymore.

I have all ready voted.

Not for you.

F*** your fear.

Flow

Another Mother

I am sharing the link of another mother.

Her struggles are in real time.

She has some good news to share.

A seizure dog, Sully, has entered the picture.

This is HUGE!

I am so very happy for LA and AG.

https://leighannsjourney.wordpress.com/2020/10/12/sully-is-here/

SEIZURE MAMA/Flower Roberts

Rescue Rose

Her heart is breaking again. There is no stopping it.

She feels the pain of others.

I do not know whether to blame DNA or MOM.

No matter. It happens and happens.

Shared suffering.

One friend has a family emergency, another is dying, no water in Yemen.

She feels it all acutely. More than empathy.

Instead of thick skin she has no skin.

Intimately connected to the ebb and flow of others.

Highly sensitive people have no filter. They feel it all.

She will steadfastly stand with those in pain.

If I built a wall around her, she would bring it all inside.

It’s not sweet or noble. It is who she is. It will hurt her.

My Rescue Rose.

Our Haunted House

We have all done our best.

We respect each other’s space.

No one is in charge of anyone else.

Cohabitation. Coexistence.

We thought we were doing well, her dad and I.

But Rose says she can’t come home.

This house is full of ghosts.

Fear ghosts, seizure ghosts, sickness ghosts, struggle ghosts,

stains of sadness in every room, the carport, the yard…

We are not allowed to change anything in her room/The Rose Museum,

but she says can’t come back here.

I hate to admit this, but I get it.

The pain is still here, lurking but fading

in this haunted house.

Flower

https://seizuremamaandrose.org/2020/02/21/the-rose-museum/

 

Stepping it Up

I hate to admit this to you. Especially you.

I wanted to step back. Take a break. Catch my breath.

But that is not what has happened. You have left the battle.

It is required that I STEP IT UP. The girls need me!

There are still struggles. There is still injustice and bias.

I can’t rest now. You need me to keep working.

So back I go, into the fray.  Fighting for attention and help and understanding and equality.

I cannot leave the battle. I have a daughter.

So another old lady warrior gets back on the front lines.

I’ll do my best. Bless you RBG.  

Flow