Look at Both Sides and no More

Many of the traumatic events involving Rose’s seizures caused trauma for us both.

The Status at Softball Practice: Chapter 40 was very traumatic. Yes it was BAD, but there were many good parts that made it less bad. You need to always look for the silver lining of the epilepsy clouds.

Let’s look at the situation further. I was somewhere else when the seizures started. I had to drive to the high school across the road and find the field house while knowing she was in status and time was of the essence. When I found her, she was on a dirty concrete floor surrounded by sport and lawn equipment all of which were metal. It was cold, so I knew she would be cold which is a trigger for more seizures. I did not know if she were injured. When another seizure started I put my long winter coat over Rose to cover her as I used my one and only Diastat, hoping one would be enough. When she regained consciousness, she was blind, hysterical and fighting to get up among all the metal.

I DO NOT play the “What if?” game, so I won’t even start all those fictitious questions. Don’t you play it either. Reality is hard enough without borrowing imagined troubles.

The flip side of the situation was that I was just across the street with a cell phone. Her team mates knew what was happening and called me. They stayed with with us until Rose was cognizant and could walk to my car. I had a Diastat and a coat to cover her. The Diastat stopped the status epilepticus. Rose did not get injured from falling or hitting the equipment.

Rose went down doing what she wanted to do, not sitting around safe and bored.

Rose got back up and had the guts to continue practicing with the team until tryouts. No, she did not make the team. Still, I believe it is important to be brave enough to risk the bad and look for the good when it comes.

This is why Rose is Rose. We got out of her way. We did not let fear call the shots.

It was not easy. It is still not easy. But it is necessary.

Mama Flow