Back in the Water

I wanted to be the mother on the opposite shore of seizures, cheering the swimmers on.

But Rose is back in the water.

She had a seizure in spring after a death, another under stressful circumstances in September, then one after a shower last week. She was dazed for days. Her speech was slurred.

She says there’s a knot on the back of her head. She called EMS. She took her rescue meds.

What does a mother do when she is two and a half hours away from her endangered child?

I emailed every possible person who could help Rose. Yes, I was a pest.

I wracked my brain for a trigger. Found a suspect. More emails… more pestering.

Then I straitened up the epilepsy file cabinet, organized all epilepsy books, put four years worth of drug slips into a notebook by reverse date grouped by function.

Now what? What will I do with the rest of this fear?

Covid fear caused me to sew hundreds of masks and mail them to friends. That’s a lot of fear folks!

You know this fear. You know it will not be ignored.

I will find something productive to do with these waves of fear that keep me in the water.

There will be no peace for a while for Seizure Mama and Rose.

Flower