Adultish

Rose bought a shirt with “Adultish” across the front.

She said it was soft and on sale. She thought it was funny.

When she wears it, I think of how we got to where we are now…

an old, tired mama with an adultish daughter.

Rose should be socially-smart and savvy at twenty-six.

She is not. It’s not her fault.

I blame epilepsy and me.

I have been the helicopter mother from hell.

I camped out at her preschool, because it was required by the church.

I volunteered at her elementary school…

when she was not home bound due to seizures.

I taught at her middle school, her high school was across the road.

I taught at her community college while she was there.

She used to refer to herself a “24/7” because she was with me 24/7.

We were tethered together for twenty-four years.

I ran block for her in too many incidences.

Over-protecting and over-compensating.

Mama bear on super strong steroids.

Trying to level the playing field for my fragile baby.

NOW, I am old and exhausted and Rose is adultish.

She says she needs the freedom to make her own mistakes.

Mistakes at twenty-six are so much bigger than mistakes at twelve.

I am ready to turn over the reins, but is she ready to take them?

She trusts and loves everyone like a child.

I am judgmental and paranoid where Rose is concerned.

I have a big heart too, but I will take down any threat to this adultish daughter.

We both worked very hard to get to this point in our relationship.

I will stand down as she steps up.

The mother-daughter dance is complicated.

Epilepsy has made it difficult.

Love is our music.

Seizure Mama

Author: Flower Roberts

seizuremamaandrose.org

6 thoughts on “Adultish”

  1. I was touched to read this. Darius (my son) is following Rose! We were in Hong Kong for weekend. We ended up in a shop to help papa choose some clothes for himself. Darius started running around happily. He stopped in kids section and took a T-shirt from girl’s section. There was a “Hello Kitty” print on the front side of the T-shirt and that had attracted his attention. He started talking to Kitty. I put the T-shirt back once his conversation finished. But he took it again to tell Kitty something else. I ended up buying it for him and now my “girlish” boy goes in front of mirror with it and talks to Kitty and himself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I get so many comments that I need to let go a little and stop being a helicopter mom. But what they don’t know is I have been through the pain of losing a child and am petrified epilepsy is going to take my oldest son. So yes, I will be with him when I can and make sure others who are with him understand the severity of the situation. We had to go home bound at the end of his 3rd grade year this year so this all really hit home. Thanks for writing!

    Liked by 1 person

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