Rose has spent the past four years plowing through college while putting her grief aside. She had to stay focused to finish.
We have lost some folks during those years. My dad died of cancer in 2020. Both my husband’s parents died in 2021 just seven weeks apart.
My mom has dementia, so the loss is slow but still very sad.
Rose could not stop to grieve. She was struggling to survive her double-double major schedule at school. She volunteered. She joined clubs.
The stroke set her back in many ways. It also forced her to slow down. She is in grief counseling and physical therapy this summer. She spends a lot of time in her room and in her bed. This worries me.
She also has been spending time sitting on the pier fishing. This has always been her happy place. I watch her sitting in the sunshine and feel calmer that she is home and safe.
Finding a job will have to wait. Rose needs to heal and rest. She needs to be repaired.
I took her to mama’s house yesterday. I took a nap while she puttered around the house and shop. I found her in daddy’s workshop sweeping. That was her way of helping Bop when he was alive. It is her way of grieving.
She needed to spend time alone in their house and I needed a nap. She pointed out the things she loved. Little ducks and pansy vases. Tiny plates decorated with flowers. She is still a little girl in some ways.
The house will be sold soon. Losing a place will be another loss. It was my home my entire childhood. I will grieve again for that house and shop and garden and swing…
My days spent with mama at rehab are bitter-sweet. She is still here but confused. She still makes us laugh.
Rose will rest and heal. I know she is slowly getting stronger and steadier. We are so fortunate that she has been cared for by excellent doctors and therapist.
I am grateful.
Seizure Mama/ Flower
Seizure Mama and Rose 