Confessions of a Scared Mama

The seizure in the band room was one of the ones that I cannot forget. It is still clear in my mind. I guess extreme fear does that to the brain. There were so many factors out of my control.

I could barely contain my panic. Rose was in danger of getting injured by her surroundings during the seizure. Then her post-ictal rage endangered us both. She seemed blind and did not recognize my voice. I know she must have been terrified.

While this was going on, I knew that all the band students were waiting outside the door. It was the end of the day. They needed to put away their instruments. They needed to catch buses and rides home. Time was running out. I did not want Rose’s fellow students to see her acting crazy.

I was thankful for the two teachers who stayed with us. Rose came to herself just in the nick of time. She sat up quietly as the band students flowed in and out quickly.

Rose’s father and brother arrived. Her neurologist was called. A new medication plan was made.

I still feel that panic in my throat and gut when I recall this particular event. An enemy within is hard to fight. That total lack of control is haunting.

Do not feel sorry for us. Think how lucky we were to have the support of others and know that we were always close to each other. It was tough being together so much, but being apart when Rose needs me has been much worse. (Her university is 3 hours away.)

We have learned to live with a level of uncertainty that most never experience.

We did. You can, too.

Mama

Author: Flower Roberts

seizuremamaandrose.org

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