Rose bought a shirt with “Adultish” across the front.
She said it was soft and on sale. She thought it was funny.
When she wears it, I think of how we got to where we are now…
an old, tired mama with an adultish daughter.
Rose should be socially-smart and savvy at twenty-six.
She is not. It’s not her fault.
I blame epilepsy and me.
I have been the helicopter mother from hell.
I camped out at her preschool, because it was required by the church.
I volunteered at her elementary school…
when she was not home bound due to seizures.
I taught at her middle school, her high school was across the road.
I taught at her community college while she was there.
She used to refer to herself a “24/7” because she was with me 24/7.
We were tethered together for twenty-four years.
I ran block for her in too many incidences.
Over-protecting and over-compensating.
Mama bear on super strong steroids.
Trying to level the playing field for my fragile baby.
NOW, I am old and exhausted and Rose is adultish.
She says she needs the freedom to make her own mistakes.
Mistakes at twenty-six are so much bigger than mistakes at twelve.
I am ready to turn over the reins, but is she ready to take them?
She trusts and loves everyone like a child.
I am judgmental and paranoid where Rose is concerned.
I have a big heart too, but I will take down any threat to this adultish daughter.
We both worked very hard to get to this point in our relationship.
I will stand down as she steps up.
The mother-daughter dance is complicated.
Epilepsy has made it difficult.
Love is our music.