I have spent a lot of time looking through this “window.”
It is a magnifier that I use to read Rose’s medical records.
When I bend over to read through it,
it feels as though I am peeking through a window
into her past.
No videos, no photos, no sounds
The names of doctors and drugs, test results, descriptions of events…
I go through this tiny window back into hospitals
back to the fear
Trying to find the words to make sense of the suffering.
Searching for answers to share.
Desperately seeking the X on this map to find the terrible treasure,
so that it can be dug up and destroyed.
Looking back for the where and the why
and finding our stories to keep you company
while you wait
on the other side of this window.